The history of bridesmaids is fascinating. It varies across cultures, religions, and periods, but one that stood out was the role of bridesmaids in early Roman times. Back then, they accompanied the bride while she visited her groom, and they dressed the same as hers to protect her from vengeful suitors who might steal her dowry.
The bridesmaids’ identical attires also let them protect the bride against evil spirits. Basically, they posed as decoys so that if an evil spirit harmed the bride, chances were it was a bridesmaid they actually struck. It had been risky to be bridesmaids back then, indeed, but now, they no longer have to put their lives on the line, thankfully.
But bridesmaids still have an essential role in the bride’s well-being. Today, the typical bridesmaid no longer does much except plan the bachelorette party and pose for pre-ceremonial snaps. While that’s been the norm since traditions died down, a bridesmaid should actually help the bride with the wedding planning, a duty that usually falls on the maid of honor alone.
You don’t have to help out if the bride insists that you shouldn’t. But if you notice the wedding planning taking a toll on her, stepping up to offer some help will surely lift her spirits. Besides, you’re most likely one of the bride’s close friends, so planning her wedding together can further strengthen your bond.
The bride would need help in reducing her stress, and here are some ways for you to do that:
1. Pick Her Dream Wedding Venue Together
Before your friend got engaged, chances are you’ve talked about your dream weddings. If your friend still has the same dream, help her make that a reality. Together with her wedding planner, search for venues that match the bride’s dream aesthetic. If she always wanted a rustic wedding, consider a beautiful barn wedding for her. You and the bride can visit the venue together and visualize the place with decorations. In turn, the bride can feel more excited about the wedding because you’ll be part of making her dreams come true.
2. Be a Team Player
If you’ve become a part of the wedding planning crew, it’s easy to get too engrossed in your duties that you’ll start to assert what you want. But this is your friend’s wedding, so hers is the final word. If you have choices that oppose hers, concede. You should be a team player in this process, not the coach.
3. Help With Contract Reading
Every wedding vendor creates a contract for the couple to sign. The wedding planner usually oversees the reading and signing of the contract, but if your friend needs another witness, maybe you can act as one. Someone more familiar, such as a close friend, can help the bride feel more confident about any contracts she’ll sign.
4. Help Organize RSVPs
Since Facebook groups or websites have replaced RSVP texts, your friend might need a hand in organizing RSVPs. Consider making the Facebook group or website of the wedding, and use the platform to compile RSVPs. Include all essential details on the platform, such as dress codes, date and time, addresses, and whether guests can bring children or plus one’s.
5. Make Time for the Bride
Sometimes, a bride would need urgent back-up for pre-wedding tasks like makeup trials, dress-fitting, or assembling favors. Make time for your friend when she requests your presence for these tasks. She can certainly use your input regarding dresses, makeup looks, and hairstyles. But again, know your boundaries and respect whatever the bride chooses, even if you think she will regret it ten years later!
6. Be Organized on the Wedding Day
On the morning of the wedding, try to wake up at the same time as the bride, if not earlier. Ideally, it would be best if you were staying in one place so that you could get ready together. Dressing up and dolling up at the same time as her can let you ensure that everything is going according to plan.
You can also help the younger attendants dress up and look after the bride’s belongings. If the maid of honor requests a hand, be ready to help. The photographer will likely request some shots when you arrive at the venue, so be prepared to pose at once to avoid delaying the photographer and the ceremony.
During the reception, make sure you have your dance moves, speeches, or any other shenanigan ready. The bride is looking forward to your participation in the program, so even if you have act silly, be it.
You don’t become a bridesmaid every day, so give it your all and make the wedding memorable for you just as it is for the bride.